Empathy in project management

Empathy - Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives according to Answers.com

I have worked in companies before as a software engineer where I have failed to see that from my PM. Upper management too sometimes just looks at the bottom line and statistics when dealing with projects.

I feel that as a PM you need to empathize with your team members and people you work with. Look for clues, look for hidden expressions, read body language, coz sometime what you hear is not the way it is.

For example, in a meeting I had once an engineer who was working on a hard aspect of the system. This feature was fairly complicated and quick foundational, so as PM of course I was all ears. But other team members were not, I had made it an option in extended meetings that if the topic does not pertain to you, you may walk out and go and do your work. In this meeting, as usual, a couple of people did just that. I noticed the expression on the engineers face as this happened. As the meeting ended, I told him that he was doing a great job and I liked what he was working as the solution showed itself. He said, thanks, and he felt that he did not feel that way.

Later on, I went to his office and spoke to him alone, telling him again that his work was good and he should keep going. He mentioned that he appreciated my gesture and was going through some personal problems. He was in fact thinking about filing bankruptcy. He went on to say a few more words, not giving details but enough to communicate that he had a few personal problems. I sat there and listened and hopefully nodded at all the right moments. I feel that he was feeling better at the end of the short talk that he could talk to someone.

This is what empathy is about, caring about the project primarily, but also caring about the people doing the work.